


Second Thoughts

by RedTheRogue



Category: Boruto: Naruto Next Generations, Naruto
Genre: Alternate Canon, Arguments, Blank Period, Canon Compliant, F/M, Fighting, First Love, First Time, Heartbreak, I'm sorry Kakashi, Idiots in Love, It gets vulgar pretty quick, Long-Distance Relationship, Long-Term Relationship(s), Love Confessions, Love Triangles, Masturbation, Multi, Mutual Masturbation, Mutual Pining, Oral Sex, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Porn with Feelings, Slow Burn, Some Plot, Teacher-Student Relationship, Travel Period, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, lonely nights
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-25
Updated: 2020-09-25
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:35:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26652268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedTheRogue/pseuds/RedTheRogue
Summary: Set during the Blank Period, Sakura has deal with the emotions that come with growing career ambitions, a long distance friendship, and her old Sensei showing interest in her. Curiosity gets the better of her and she finds herself conflicted on what she actually wants.Ultimately a Saku/Sasu fic but filled with the heartache of Saku/Kaku love.
Relationships: Haruno Sakura/Hatake Kakashi, Haruno Sakura/Uchiha Sasuke
Comments: 8
Kudos: 39





	Second Thoughts

_A Misunderstanding_

_\--_

“Well done Dr. Haruno!”

Sakura wiped her brow with a triumphant smile. Having just cleared an eighteen-hour surgery, she was soaked in blood and almost completely drained of chakra. The kunoichi looked over in the direction of praise and nodded. “Thank you, Itsuki.”

The male medical assistant’s face dusted with a light pink blush and he quickly averted his eyes elsewhere. “S-so this weekend I was thinking of going to try the new barbeque place that opened up…” he hesitantly started. Sakura’s smile did not fade but her eyes turned solemn. She continued to listen but shifted to washing her hands in the medical sink. Over the past few months several of her assistants had started to try and ask her out on dates. She was flattered but each time she firmly and politely declined. “Would you maybe like to- “

“Ah, Sakura, just who I was looking for.” A familiar silver haired Hokage swiftly interrupted. The assistant prickled in fright and scurried out of the room with the patient on a rolling table, bowing to Kakashi profusely on the way out. Sakura giggled as she dried her hands, and turned to her former teacher.

“Oh? And what would that be for?” she smiled playfully, letting her hair down by removing the tie that had held it up for the past day. He crinkled his eyes and ran his hand through his own already untamed hair.

“To save you from awkward date invitations of course” He replied. “From what I hear that’s the fifth one this quarter.” Kakashi and Sakura had been going out to dinner more often since she started getting pestered. It kept them both company and kept most of the date invitations at bay, though, not all of them.

“Yeah well, they probably have some sort of bet or something.” She mumbled before smiling softly, shrugging her medical jacket off, and hanging it at the door. He gave her a stern look, to which she responded by stickling her tongue out at him and waving her hand in dismissal.

She beckoned him out and flicked the lights off after he crossed the door frame. He looked down to catch a glimpse of her face as he passed her. Sakura’s emerald eyes were encased in dark rings of fatigue and sadness. She quickly looked away, locking the door behind her.

“I don’t know if you’ve heard but there’s a new BBQ place in town.” He casually remarked as he strolled next to her down the hallway. A soft exhale came from her nose and she giggled.

“I thought you were saving me from awkward date invitations.” Sakura smirked while giving him a sideways glance, hand on her chin.

“I never said it was a date.” He snorted, crossing his arms behind his head, interlocking his hands.

“You’re right, that would require you to pay, which we both know would never happen. “She paused. “But…I am feeling hungry and I happen to be going that way.”

He smirked under his mask. Kakashi fell into step behind her, watching her long pink hair bounce off her shoulders as she walked. She hadn’t gotten a haircut in a few months he noticed. His student had grown into a woman right before his eyes. It seemed like just yesterday he was standing beside her at the front gates watching her wave goodbye to the last remaining Uchiha. It didn’t take much for Sakura to notice he was lost in thought, especially when he nearly ran into the wall next to the elevator door. Not very ninja like, she noted. She gave him a funny face and entered the small box, pushing the button to the ground floor. He sauntered in without hurry. They fell into a comfortable silence just before hearing a voice call out.

“W-wait please hold the door!” Itsuki stammered, running towards them both, arm stretched out. Like Sakura he was still in scrubs and looked pretty disheveled. Kakashi pressed into Sakura’s side slightly and slyly pushed the ‘close door’ elevator button by slipping his hand behind her back.

“I’m pushing the open button but it doesn’t seem to be working!” Kakashi called out as the doors closed just short of the medical assistant reaching it. Sakura fake punched his side playfully.

“Sensei! That’s rude! “She exclaimed with a grin on her face. She looked up at him and her breath hitched when she realized how close he was to her. She could feel the warmth of his arm tucked around her waist, still paused on the elevator button. They had never stood so close together outside of sparring or mission work.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, I was pushing the button.” He replied crinkling his eyes into a smile, almost as if he was reading her thoughts. Sakura began to shift her eyes away from looking at how close he was, subconsciously playing with her hair. The red in her face could have been from the long shift or from a blush, Kakashi wasn’t sure which. He studied her face’s features as he tried to do earlier, for just a brief moment, before stepping away.

This time the silence was tense.

\--

The new barbeque restaurant was buzzing.

“Ugh, I should have known! There’s practically a line out the door!” Sakura sighed in exasperation. At this point she was too hungry to try and find somewhere else; all of the nearby restaurants would probably have the same wait time or longer. Couples and families roared with laughter and banter from inside the establishment. The smell of the sizzling meat was doing nothing to help her hangry state. “I should probably just go home; I don’t really want to eat in my work clothes anyway.” She muttered.

“Well, it is a Friday night.” Kakashi noted. “But I am the Hokage you know, that has to have some benefits right?” He asked unconfidently. He didn’t pull the weight of his title around a lot for what he thought was trivial things. But, in this case he couldn’t image something more important than perking up his former student. Noticing the hostess at a podium out front he gave a small wave hoping she’d recognize him in the casual clothing he was wearing. When he wasn’t working he did his best to blend in; sporting his usual mask and a new matching black long sleeve shirt.

“Ho-Hokage-sama!” the hostess sputtered. Well, that answered that question.

“Room for 2?” he smiled behind his mask. The hostess’ began to nervously shake.

“Un-Unfortunately Hokage-Sama we are at full capacity and it’s about an hour wait” she shook quickly noticing his frown and slightly furrowed brow. “B-BUT” she trembled.

Before she could continue and possibly pass out, Sakura stepped in wrapping her arm around Kakashi’s bicep. “That’s alright, our friends just called us with a reservation to the place down the street.” She fibbed, feigning a cheerful smile. Sakura swore the other woman’s ghost came back to her body in relief. Kakashi meanwhile was a little stunned by the sudden closeness. Was she doing this in response to what he did earlier in the elevator? He had just been trying to get a closer look at her face, having noticed how exhausted she was, but did she think it was something else?

The only thing to pull him from his thoughts was suddenly being actually pulled down the street, away from the restaurant, and away from other people. Just as the pair turned the corner onto a nearly empty street, she stopped tugging on him, allowing him to fall into step beside her. His first thought was that she hadn’t let go of his arm. Sakura broke the silence. “That was obviously a lie.” Her eyes looked up at him sideways to inspect his expression. 

“Obviously” Kakashi replied, his own eyes fixated forward. “We seem to not be heading in the direction of any restaurants actually.”

Sakura nodded but didn’t respond.

They fell into silence, walking underneath the street lights. The warm glow from the main part of town slowly dimmed into darker blue alleys and residential areas. The spring’s cold air began to settle in. They were heading towards Sakura’s apartment. He had been there a handful of times to pick her up for missions and the few times when he had to carry her home after she passed out from fatigue at the hospital. Suddenly, those moments felt more significant. He opened his mouth to mention how she was almost to that state again but ended up walking in silence.

They finally reached the stairs that led up to her door when she let go. He stepped back fully expecting to be turned away. Sakura quickly turned on her heel and spun towards him. “So let’s just eat here alright?” she smiled weakly. Did she have enough food for the both of them? In her current state he felt bad even thinking of letting her cook him an entire meal. “That wasn’t really a question, I’m not taking no for an answer” she chuckled. He reluctantly nodded and followed her up the steps.

The key clicked in its lock and the door open to reveal a pretty empty apartment. Everything was almost untouched. It made sense since she was hardly ever anywhere but at the hospital and her bed for sleep, but still he didn’t expect it to feel more clinical than the location where she saw her patients. His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of her opening the fridge. “You look like a stray cat out there Sensei, come in already.” Sakura waved her hand for him to cross the threshold. “You’re also letting the warm air out.”

He blinked realizing he was spacing out and finally gave his head a good shake. Kakashi closed the door behind him, deciding after a moment to lock it. He could sense his ANBU detail outside nearby and figured they’d probably feel more comfortable if the front door wasn’t just open to be intruded. “Sakura, why don’t you let me take care of dinner?” He looked over to her just in time to see her head come up from her lower cabinets. She had pulled out a few ingredients but as he expected she didn’t have much to work with. Her head tilted at him in question. “That way you can go clean up with a shower.” He coughed.

Sakura looked down at her scrubs and sighed. “Alright, I won’t be too long. This should be enough to make a bit of fried rice. Let me know when the food is ready please.” she mumbled. He nodded and shoo’d her out of the kitchen. After rummaging in her fridge he managed to find a few eggs as well. He figured he might as well make it into Omurice. It wasn’t fancy but it showed a little extra care. Her cabinets were almost completely bare or simply filled with nonperishables, another clear sign that she didn’t spend a lot of time there.

Kakashi’s ears perked up when he heard the shower turn on, pausing his knife on the onion he was cutting for a moment.

Meanwhile Sakura let out a large exhale as she finally stepped into the hot water. “God, what a day” She sighed, running her fingers through her pink locks. In reality, this day was just like the last 365, and the 365 days before that. Ever since she settled into her routine of working at the hospital, she scarcely found herself getting a day off. Although, it wasn’t as though she didn’t have the option; whenever she took a day to herself she would either get called into work or she wouldn’t know how to spend her day. She had Ino she could nag but that was usually an entire excursion rather than a relaxing day off. More often than not the entire outing would comprise of Ino relentlessly trying to get Sakura to date any eligible bachelors they’d encounter.

She shook her head at the thought. She couldn’t be thinking of dating anyone now. The day that Sasuke left the village to go atone for his sins, the simple gesture he gave he was enough to keep her hanging on a little bit longer. Even if Ino insisted a tap to the forehead couldn’t possibly be romantic in any way. Although, thinking of the word bachelor made her suddenly think back to the elevator with Kakashi. Surely, he wasn’t making a move on her right? She shuddered remembering the intensity of his onyx colored eyes as they studied her face. The steam seeped into her skin, relaxing her muscles, melting away her fatigue. In that moment, she remembered the incredible urge to reach out and touch his cheek. Instead she found her hands lightly caressing her own face, fingers tracing down her neck.

A small tap at the bathroom door startled her out of her actions.

“Foods ready” kakashi’s voice called out softly.

“B-be there in a minute!” she squeaked. Sakura finished washing her hair and turned off the water. The entire bathroom was fogged up from the hot shower. She gently rubbed a towel into her wet hair to dry it as much as possible before wrapping it around herself. She slowly peeked out from the bathroom into her bedroom to make sure he wasn’t still in there. When she saw the coast was clear she went over to her dresser. He had thoughtfully closed the door for her to have privacy. Her hands rummaged through her clothes as she wondered what she should wear. Would Kaskashi care what she wore? Did she care if he did? Her thumbs traced over her silky pajama pants in thought.

“Guess there was enough ingredients to make the foo-?” Stepping out into the living room, Sakura blinked a few times in confusion when she realized the lights were off and there was only the dim glow of some candles at the small dining table she had. “Kakashi?”

At her table two plates had been set and Kakashi stood next to one of the chairs. He beckoned her over. “I figured after a long day this might be more relaxing.” He smiled.

Her profuse blush was well camouflaged by the dimness of the apartment. As she approached the table he pulled her chair out for her before going to sit in his own. “I feel a little underdressed now.” She commented, looking down at her pajama bottoms. He rolled his eyes.

She giggled when she saw the dish. “Omurice? Normally it’s kids who like this stuff.”

“Well, they say joy is wasted on the youth.”

“I don’t know if that’s the saying Sensei.” She licked her lips and split the omelet open, revealing the steaming fried rice inside. The delight in her eyes said it all when she put a spoonful in her mouth. Kakashi cocked his eyebrow wondering how often she cooked for herself nowadays. They sat in silence for a while as Sakura began eagerly devouring the food.

After eating a portion of his own plate, Kakashi spoke. “You know, Sakura…I don’t think it has to be said that the top medical ninja shouldn’t be at risk of passing out while performing surgery.” The statement was a bit blunt on Kakashi’s part and he was fully ready for the glare that immediately came with it. Her cheeks puffed with food and her angry expression only made her look adorable, so he chuckled.

Shrugging off his comment, she lifted a spoonful of rice to her lips and chewed on it thoughtfully. With a nod she happily looked over at him. “This is wonderful, thank you for making it Sensei!”

“You don’t have to call me Sensei anymore you know.” He replied, not at all missing the cold shoulder on his concern. The topic was changed to Kakashi’s duties as Hokage during the past week. It was a schedule filled with boring meetings he either showed up late to or skipped all together. One particular story was Kakashi boasting about reading an entire chapter of Icha Icha during a one on one meeting with an ambassador from Suna.

“Oh! Speaking of Suna, I meant to speak to you about the program I had been talking about getting approved.” Her cheeks flushed. “You know how I’ve been pushing for the children’s mental health hospital in Konoha.”

He nodded. “I assume that’s what’s been taking up the bulk of your time.” He sipped at his glass of water. A shine shimmered in her green eyes with affirmation and genuine joy.

“It’ll all be worth it! I wanted to talk to you about traveling to Suna with Ino as a first step to expanding the hospitals outside of the village if it’s approved. The structure that Ino and I have been working on could be maintained in any village given the right training. I think smaller clinics can be setup in smaller villages as well dedicated to medical ninja specialized in children’s care. I think if I take our plans to the Shinobi Union we could have a detailed roadmap of which villages we can build and give the kage’s enough time to plan their locations and budgeting allocation.”

As Sakura happily prattled on, Kakashi looked on with admiration. Regret seeped into his muscles knowing he hadn’t given her as much attention as the other members of team seven during their training. And yet, here she was on the fast track to becoming a hospital director and literally changing the world for the better. Nodding thoughtfully in-between her sentences, he waited for her to finish. He had to admit he missed actually being her Sensei.

Realizing that her talking in-between massive spoonful’s of rice wasn’t going to stop anytime soon, he gently placed his hand on hers which had been resting on the table. She immediately halted her words, mid-sentence and whipped her gaze to their hands, swallowing hard. Her eyes scanned his for answers.

“You’re off work now, remember? Let’s talk about it on Monday in my office.” He smiled. She couldn’t help it; she was excited, but all the excitement in the world couldn’t keep her awake forever. She nodded and he squeezed her hand before standing up. With a few blinks she realized she had eaten all of her food and he was already picking it up to clear the table.

“Sorry, wasn’t enough for seconds.” He chuckled while walking into the kitchen, rolling up his sleeves.

“I’ll wash those dishes later Sensei, don’t worry about it.” She remarked as he placed the plates into the sink. Kakashi took this as a possible sign that she was ready for his leave. He fixed his sleeves and started to head towards the door, fully intending on finishing their conversation and exchanging night pleasantries to head out. He was pretty satisfied knowing that most of her hard work and dedication was towards her passions rather than self-distractions from personal issues. At least that’s what he gathered from the situation.

Sakura quickly fiddled with her hands, quick glances going to the clock as she realized he was stepping towards leaving. “Leaving so soon?” Her mind jumped back to earlier in the evening. She wasn’t used to probing around for signs that someone was interested in her so she felt off her game. Not that she had any game to begin with, she thought. So many thoughts were conflicting in her head that it was all just a loud buzzing sound. Pure unbridled curiosity swarmed her mind, she had to know…but why did she?

The last few months, she and Sasuke had started exchanging letters with Naruto as the middle man. Sasuke was surprisingly more emotive in text than she could have imagined. He had no problem eloquently describing the captivating sights of his travels and painting his feelings with words. She figured it in part; it had to do with it being easier to open up in writing rather than face to face.

So why was she so curious about her former Sensei’s feelings?

 _‘Letters don’t keep you warm at night, forehead’._ Ino’s voice boomed in her ears. Sakura shut her eyes and shook her head. She loved Sasuke with all her heart and she made sure to let him know that; even in the heat of war. But, she had always “loved” Kakashi as well, as a dear friend. But now, Kakashi was trying to scurry out her door and yet she wanted nothing more than for him to stay just a bit longer. She concluded that she must have bored him with talk about work.

Kakashi rubbed the back of his neck watching her blankly stare at him scooting towards the door. “I just figured maybe you’d be bored of me by now.” He noticed that she seemed to snap out of her thoughts when he said that. They were really both in their own head tonight.

“It-it’s really cold out.” Sakura’s words stumbled out. He blinked a few times. It wasn’t colder than normal during this time of year, and snow wasn’t due for another week or so. He tilted his head at her. “I mean…do you want to watch a movie or something? It is Friday…” her voice trailed off quickly.

A moment went by that felt like minutes.

He finally nodded.

\--

Kakashi eventually found his way to her only couch. They clearly had different tastes in film; she had none of the movies he recommended that they watch. Although, he probably would have been more surprised if she in fact had the Icha Icha movie adaptation that he joked about; instead, she had a lot of comedies, action, and a surprising amount of documentaries. Thumbing his way through her movies he settled on a horror movie he had never heard of. She had been adamant about him choosing.

The sound of rummaging was heard followed by a brief “ah-ha!” before Sakura reemerged into the living room with a bottle of sake.

“Can’t tell you how many of these Shizune would confiscate from Tsunade when she was Hokage. Eventually she didn’t know what to do with all of them.” Sakura giggled, filling up cups for the both of them. “Not really my style of drink but it’s something right?” He smiled.

When the movie had started they both sat on opposite sides of the couch. The bottle was almost empty by the time the climax of the movie came around and they had found their way to sitting next to each other. Kakashi had long become disinterested in the movie, opted into pulling his book out. Sakura didn’t seem to mind as she was previously enthralled by the movie, but she had begun to get a bit curious about what he was reading. After all, she had seen him nose first in the series the entire time she had known him; she wanted to know what kept him so interested in those pages.

The alcohol had more than taken over, her body warm and flushed. Kakashi was acting well composed despite the fact that he had drunk twice as much as her by this point. It started with Sakura leaning into him, legs now on the couch, lying perpendicular to him, pretending to be frightened of the movie. His eyes glanced down at her sideways before returning to the book. Screams emanated from the television screen for several minutes before he noticed her nudge her way even closer. He stopped reading momentarily, suddenly aware that his nostrils were filled with the scent of strawberries. The smell of her shampoo was overpowering the smell of the alcohol. Suddenly the words started to jumble on his page. At this pace it would take him an hour to read one paragraph.

Sakura slowly placed her arm to rest on his stomach, pressing her cheek into his side. Kakashi noticed that his arm would eventually go numb being pressed into the couch by her body, so he lifted it and hesitantly let it come back down behind her, first on the back of the couch before deciding to rest his hand on her hip. She could feel the heat of his hand.

After several minutes frozen in place, Sakura hadn’t done anything further, so he found his place in the book and continued to read. Coincidentally he was on a chapter where the protagonist was getting ready to sleep with her newly budding love interest. As the words got steamer his thumb subconsciously began to move along the curve of her hip, feeling the silk pajama bottoms fabric.

It wasn’t until he felt her shift around in a small squirm that he realized that the movie had been over and that she was staring up at him with darkened hooded green eyes. Those eyes were watching him like a predator. Slowly closing the book he let out a barely audible gulp.

“Sakura…?”

Silence he received in return; the air was thick with only the sound of the tv’s hum to cut through it. She was trying to read his face, his thoughts; his actions. Slowly, a hand came up to his cheek, gently running over his jaw line, running along the trim of his mask. Her heart was racing, practically shaking her body.

It took Kakashi a moment to remember how to breathe, and when he did he inhaled sharply. “Sakura-“

His eyes widened as he felt her lips on his covered ones. All he could see were her closed lids and upturned brows; but there was an overwhelming amount of things he was feeling.

He deepened the kiss finally, arms wrapping around her. It didn’t feel like enough. He reached up and yanked his mask down fiercely, breaking free from her for just a moment in an audible gasp, before hungrily going back in. Her tongue lightly prodded his lips, and he opened; both explored each other with a nervous swiftness. Two of Konoha’s most touch deprived lonely hearts were suddenly in each other’s arms.

Growing more heated; Sakura crawled into his lap to straddle him, never breaking their kiss. Her breath hitched in surprise, almost immediately feeling his arousal through his pants against her thigh. He let out a small groan at the friction which encouraged her more. She began to grasp at the fabric of his sweater with one hand, gripping at his hair with her other, as Kakashi started to grind up towards her, holding her firmly in place with his hands on her hips.

Suddenly Kakashi felt a wave of guilt and broke the kiss. “Sakura you’re drunk.” He panted. They both knew that wasn’t true. The young medical ninja had long known how to metabolize alcohol almost as quickly as it entered her body. She was taken aback by this sudden interruption.

“No I’m not.” She replied sternly, sitting back in his lap to look at him. When she did she was finally hit with a full view of his face. He was insanely attractive; no buck teeth or comically thick lips there. The rest of his scar was visible, the only flaw on his otherwise perfect face. A deep blush filled her cheeks at the sight.

“I-I’m drunk then.” He swallowed; realizing his hands had grabbed onto her hips, he quickly put them at his sides. She looked insulted, and she didn’t know what to say. She slowly stood up and backed up. “Wait, Sakura.”

“I don’t understand.” Tears lining the bottom of her eyes, she quickly looked anywhere but at him.

“I…don’t either.”

She crossed her arms at him. That answer wasn’t good enough.

“I’ve been concerned about you, Sakura. You’ve been running at minimum energy for the last few months. Even Shizune had noticed you were-“

“Is that who asked you to check-up on me? I don’t need to be babied. Shizune is great to look out for me, but she knows I can take it.” Her held was held up proudly and stubbornly, holding back her tears. 

“Sakura, you’re not some petulant teenager you know. You’re well on the way to becoming the hospital’s director with your trajectory.”

“So that’s what this was actually about? Why you’ve been coming to check up on me at the hospital all the time? Having dinners with me out of pity?”

He stood up and walked to her. “No, not entirely. We’re friends Sakura; it’s not pity. I noticed, and then asked Shizune about it. You’re in my office almost every other day to talk to me about the hospital’s needs; it wasn’t hard to see it for myself.”

Sakura looked to the ground. There was a pause of silence before she finally sighed. “Thank you, but I’m alright. I…misunderstood.” She mumbled.

He looked at her with soft eyes but she avoided eye contact. Resigned, he walked past her towards her door. Not wanting to make the night any more awkward he gave a light cough. “I’m going to head out.”

She nodded, and despite the embarrassment she walked over to him, still not looking at him. He realized his mask was still down and hastily put it back up. In an attempt to break the tension he placed a hand on her head and ruffled her hair like he used to. It didn’t help. “Take care of yourself Sakura.”

She pinched the bridge of her nose with her eyes closed. “Thank you Sensei.”

Just as he stepped back the threshold into the cold air, he turned to her. “So um…see you Monday to discuss the plans for the children’s hospital?”

She smiled, “Yup” and closed the door behind him. “Shit.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there! Thank you for taking the time to read my fic. I value constructive criticism and any feedback you're willing to give. This is my first fic in over 10 years so I apologize if it's shaky. I'm a huge fan of both pairings so I will try to do them justice in both this and future fics; given that people like my writing enough!  
> This takes place during the Blank Period with as much canon compliance as possible to the time period. I of course added my own stuff so from here on out it's pretty free game.


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